Wednesday, October 27, 2010


While riding to school this morning Simone said, “when will I get to meet my Birth Mom the one who got me out ? This Chinese song makes me think of her.”

Sophie said, “what about me??”

Simone said, “yes you too, you are from China because you were born there.”

I told her that I am not sure. I said that we do not know much about either of your birth moms or where she lives but I do know she loves you both because you went to a safe place, then the orphanage where the Ayi's took care of you. We can one day try to find her. Maybe we will but maybe we will not.

Simone said, “what about when 3rd grade.”

I wish I could remember exactly what Simone send next so we can remember this moment but I don't....It was some thing about how she "wishes her Birth Mom could see what she was like and what she does."

Then a few minutes later as I look in the rear view mirror Simone has her two hands in a ball covering her eyes while they squint shut and says some thing like I am going to think about what she looks like now.

Then we talked about what they might look like.

After that it was time to take Sophie out of the car and drop her off at preschool.

Later at dinner we talked about it with Daddy. When I started to tell him about this morning Simone "giddily" started to slump down her chair with a smile on her face. Did not seem to be uncomfortable but maybe happily thinking of her Birth Mother???

We have talked many times before about their Birth Mother and Birth Father so I am hoping that has helped them with being able to talk about this subject. I just did not think that "When" would come this soon. I think it has also HELPED me because it was not as hard to talk about as I thought. Just sad that we do not have any information at this time or may never.

I am glad that Simone feels she can talk to me.

I pray that our Girls will be able to sort out what they are feeling about their Birth Story and if they have any questions or concerns that they will continue to ask and be able to talk with us or other close family/friends.

I know this will be hard as I have had to deal with this is a child growing up. Wondering what my Dad looked like and why I did not get to see him. The only difference is that I was reunited with him when I was 16.

It is all in God's plan and timing for what happens in the future.

As I write this I have tears and I am not even sure why because compared to what other friends that I know are going through at this very moment it could be a lot worse but today in the minds of our 6 year old and a 5 year old they are starting to process where they came from and it is a big deal.

For today Daddy thought thoughtfully while he wrote sweet things in Simone's family journal homework and I just held our Girls a whole lot tighter and give them many kisses.

I look at them and thank God that they made it to the Orphanage. They are survivors.....

I hope they always know how much they are wanted, how long we waited and prayed for them and how much WE LOVE THEM!


Tracy Ann said...

Beautifully said. It's hard to know the right time and the right words for answering some of the toughest questions.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Coming out of lurkdom to say that I always find those conversations so very difficult to navigate. We had a similar conversation just this evening. It breaks my heart that so many of my answers are filled with "I don't knows." *sigh*

Sharon said...

Wow, you handled that well. I get uncomfortable but each time its a smidge easier. We have not talked about another 'mother', only 'the woman who gave birth to you'.
Your girls are so precious!!

Good to hear from you!!

Hillard Family said...

Michelle, It is a hard thing to talk about. Payton told me the other day the she was Rosangela now until she went back to guatemala. I have no idea what brought that on and I wasn't even sure what to say about it but it has made the conversation a little easier now that she is starting it and not me trying to get it in there where I felt like it should be discussed. And BTW I cry too when we talk about it or something like this happens. I think I feel the loss for her.